Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, so that's the secret! Who needs work-life balance when you can just inherit a fortune? 🤑💼 Don't worry about burnout, just pass down that sweet generational wealth instead! 😅 #EasyFix"

balance, finance, generational, generational wealth, humor, life, lifestyle, priorities, secret, wealth, work, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

0

4 months ago

80s, divorce, documentary, family, film, humor, i, kid, kids, literally, pretty, retro, saw, shrink, shrink-ray, sure, technology, wife
I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

0

2 months ago

business, business savvy, childhood, fairy, humor, i, job, outsourcing, parents, savvy, tooth, Tooth Fairy
“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

0

2 months ago

after, bad, cheese, dairy, drinks, eat, health, humor, infancy, kale, Karen, let, mango, me, milk, only, peace, pineapple, smoothie, specy
Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

0

2 months ago

always, chefs, cooking, cut, everything, fast, humor, just, kitchen, man, onion, relax, speed
The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

0

5 months ago

brushing, brushing teeth, confidence, ever, falls, hottest, humor, i, moment, much, personal, personal moment, self, self-confidence, situation, teeth, tree, tree falls in the woods, underwear, woods
What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, friendship, humor, i, mean, miscommunication, never, reach, reaching, reaching out, social, social awkwardness, thought, thoughtfulness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

52 shares on Reddit this month:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

54 shares on Instagram this month:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Making waves on Pinterest:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Making waves on TikTok:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Trending via Threads:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Just landed via TikTok:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Just shared via Messenger:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨