Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Freshly posted on X:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Live now on Instagram:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Just shared via Instagram:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Going viral on Instagram:

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Live now on TikTok:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you hear the full name, run for cover! 😂👟👶 #MiddleNameAlert #UhOh"

child, discipline, family, humor, know, middle, middle name, name, parenting, purpose, trouble

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, conversation, crazy, hearing, humor, imagination, talk, talking
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

0

2 months ago

being, curse, drive, high, hopeless, hopeless romantic, humor, introvert, personality, personality traits, romantic, sex, sex drive, traits
You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

0

2 months ago

animals, me, release, trust, zoo
Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

0

5 months ago

enough, escape, health, humor, i, identity, mental, mental health, need, new, passport, self-improvement, therapy, travel
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

0

2 months ago

back, cool, depression, ever, got, growth, health, inspiration, life, mental, mental health, motivation, personal, personal growth, recovery, sex, spark, worst
I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, just, keep, mouth, mystery, personality, shut, unfortunately, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

70 shares on Discord this month:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

23 shares on X this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

26 shares on Discord this month:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

17 shares on Discord this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Going viral on Threads:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Trending via Discord:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Just landed via Discord:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Going viral on Facebook:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨