Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Trending via Facebook:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Just shared via Threads:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Shared recently on Discord:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Just shared via Snapchat:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about chaotic house, humorously describing a messy, "struggle" scene.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Entering my house is like stumbling upon the aftermath of a covert operation gone wrong 🕵️‍♂️🏠 There's a mysterious aura of chaos lingering in the air, as if my belongings are in cahoots against me! 🤪 #ClumsyDomesticEspionage"

best, chaos, cleaning, house, humor, mess, state, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on WeChat this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

93 shares on X this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

App idea: couples upload their arguments. The internet votes on who was right.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Live now on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Live now on Reddit:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Spotted on Threads:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Trending via Snapchat:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Spotted on Reddit:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Spotted on WeChat:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Trending via WeChat:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴