Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,630

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Just shared via Messenger:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Going bananas on Slack:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Spotted on Reddit:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Making waves on Slack:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Trending via Discord:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

0
The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Entering my house is like stumbling upon the aftermath of a covert operation gone wrong 🕵️‍♂️🏠 There's a mysterious aura of chaos lingering in the air, as if my belongings are in cahoots against me! 🤪 #ClumsyDomesticEspionage"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

80 shares on X this month:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Spotted on WeChat:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Seen just now on Discord:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Just landed via YouTube:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Going viral on Facebook:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Spreading quickly via X:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Making waves on Discord:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Just landed via Messenger:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴