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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I think my type is a nice person.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Seen just now on Slack:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Seen just now on Reddit:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Going bananas on Slack:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Going viral on YouTube:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Live now on Discord:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Live now on X:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Entering my house is like stumbling upon the aftermath of a covert operation gone wrong 🕵️‍♂️🏠 There's a mysterious aura of chaos lingering in the air, as if my belongings are in cahoots against me! 🤪 #ClumsyDomesticEspionage"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

19 shares on X this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

356 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,625

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,625

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Spotted on Twitch:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Trending via WeChat:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Spotted on X:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Just shared via TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Seen just now on X:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Spotted on Reddit:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

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