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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,547

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Going viral on Instagram:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Trending via Facebook:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Trending via Pinterest:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Going viral on Threads:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

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The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.
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Commentary:
Ah, yes, the classic gamer dichotomy: unleashing havoc on virtual worlds or meticulously organizing spreadsheets. It's like choosing between chaos and order, between slaying dragons and slaying data. 🎮💥💼 Who needs real-life adventures when you can battle monsters or conquer formulas from the comfort of your own screen? Choose your weapon: a sword or a mouse—both equally formidable in their own realms! ⚔️🖱️ #GamerLife #Spread

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

26 shares on YouTube this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,728

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Julia Garner most confusing name because it calls to mind both Julia Roberts and Jennifer Garner, but she is neither.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Trending via X:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Going viral on X:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Just shared via Slack:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Trending via Messenger:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

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