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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Trending via Discord:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Seen just now on X:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Spotted on Threads:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Seen just now on Slack:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why does the weekend have to be on fast-forward like it's avoiding chores? 🏃‍♂️💨📅

day, day name, exaggeration, Friday, funny week, humor, Monday, name, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday, week, weekday, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

0

6 days ago

accent, better, correct, feel, getting, hangup, humor, i, language, language learning, learning, me, racism, racist, Spanish, speaking, think
Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

0

2 months ago

comfort, essentials, humor, kindness, less, less is more, lifestyle, paper, sleep, toilet, toilet paper
I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, determination, drive, driveway, family, flipping, humor, i, life, patience, perseverance, pull, radio, radio station, relationship, station, stations, still, through, wife, wish
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

0

2 months ago

AI, asking, automation, captcha, computers, humans, humor, joke, mankind, parody, proof, prove, robots, technology
I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

0

2 months ago

compliment, confidence, delicious, girl, humor, i, love, myself, perfume, self-love, smell
My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

0

2 months ago

credit, credit score, family, hissing, humor, McRib, over, raccoon, score

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

97 shares on X this month:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

53 shares on X this month:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Going viral on WeChat:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Making waves on Instagram:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Seen just now on Discord:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

Trending via Discord:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨