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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,636

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Spotted on X:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Making waves on Discord:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Just landed via Facebook:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Live now on Reddit:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're baking emotional cookies and you finally realize the missing ingredient is PMS. 🍪🌀🤔 #MakesSenseNow"

before, cycle, hormonal, humor, menstrual, menstrual cycle, menstruation, mood, mood swings, period, realize, relatable, sense, swings, week, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, going, humor, joke, micro-dosing, microdosing, relaxation, sci-fi, sleep, time, time travel, travel
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, i, life, me, nap, someone, take, time
Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

0

2 months ago

anything, apparently, communication, culture, guys, hear, humor, internet, internet culture, media, online, say, social, social media
Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

0

2 months ago

attractiveness, beautiful, compliments, confidence, dating, follows, humor, me, media, new, self-esteem, social, social media, still, thing, women
Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

0

2 months ago

buzzard, circle, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, me, nature, run, should, worry
Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

0

2 months ago

chaos, circus, current, entertainment, fine, fire, humor, monkey, politics, satire, state

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

84 shares on X this month:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

80 shares on X this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

32 shares on X this month:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Trending via Messenger:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Just shared via X:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Breaking via Threads:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Making waves on Telegram:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨