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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Going viral on X:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

Trending via Facebook:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Witty quote about hormonal confusion, highlighting humor in premenstrual chaos.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you're baking emotional cookies and you finally realize the missing ingredient is PMS. 🍪🌀🤔 #MakesSenseNow"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

59 shares on TikTok this month:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Making waves on TikTok:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Making waves on WeChat:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

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