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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Making waves on Messenger:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Shared recently on Threads:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Trending via WeChat:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Trending via YouTube:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

The world started without permission again.

Playful quote about chaos, humorously suggesting the world’s unruly beginnings.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're just not ready for the universe to hit the snooze button 😂🌍☕

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I love having plans to cancel.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Trending via Snapchat:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Just shared via TikTok:

Overthinkaholic!

Going bananas on Threads:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Trending via X:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Spotted on Messenger:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

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