Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Trending via Messenger:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Spotted on Reddit:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Going bananas on Threads:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your wallet goes on its own little shopping spree during your hyperfixation 😂🛍️ #OopsIDidItAgain

buy, coming, humor, hyperfixation, impulse, impulse buy, looking, merch, need, regret, shopping, sobering, sobering up, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

0

4 months ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird
Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

0

2 months ago

excuse, fantasy, gap, help, Hobbits, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, Mordor, resume, ring, something, take, tell
If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

0

4 months ago

delete, disappear, humor, i, identity, media, online, online identity, should, social, social media, tweet
If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

0

2 months ago

affection, both, bring, crows, gift, humor, ID, love, relationship, shiny, shiny thing, thing, things
Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

0

1 month ago

celebration, early, eat, holiday, humor, idea, leave, once, only, party, people, right, Santa, snack, socializing, tradition, visit, year
Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

0

2 months ago

content, content creation, creation, feel, female, filmmaker, forgot, fun, i, ig, Instagram, Instagram story, media, post, social, social media, story

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

57 shares on Slack this month:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Live now on Telegram:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Shared recently on YouTube:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Making waves on X:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Making waves on Instagram:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Going viral on TikTok:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Trending via Threads:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Just shared via X:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨