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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,046

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Going bananas on X:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Trending via WeChat:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Making waves on X:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Trending via Discord:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Making waves on Discord:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Live now on Discord:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to unleash your inner action hero! 😎🍿💥

cut, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, revenge, therapy, vengeance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

0

2 months ago

being, devices, humor, humor quote, i, independence, left, love, own, solitude, technology
I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, basement, eat, eating, excited, food, humor, i, irony, love, survival
My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

0

2 months ago

attachment, i, last, lover, morning, night, phone, relationship, routine, technology, thing, wake
If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

0

2 weeks ago

broke, childbirth, customer, customer service, emergency, fault, humor, last, last minute, minute, nice, pregnancy, procrastination, retail, retail worker, service, shop, shopping, water, week, worker
Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

1

2 months ago

age, better, decision, experience, humor, know, life, old, rebellion, wisdom, young, youth
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Slack this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Going viral on Reddit:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Making waves on Slack:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Live now on TikTok:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨