Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Shared recently on Messenger:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Breaking via TikTok:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Shared recently on Discord:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

0
There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just waiting for one of them to say, 'These aren't the droids you're looking for.' 🤖✨🚀"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

95 shares on Threads this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

78 shares on Threads this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,306

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Going viral on Twitch:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Trending via X:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Just shared via Instagram:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴