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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Making waves on Threads:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Going viral on Facebook:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Going viral on Snapchat:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

6 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just imagining the creepy ghost tripping over a rug is the bedtime story we all need! 😂👻🎬

before, bloopers, credits, end, end credits, film, films, horror, horror film, movie, relax, should, sleep, sleeping, viewer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

1 month ago

activity, asking, blush, flirting, fun, fun activity, grocery, grocery shopping, i, know, making, man, melon, melons, men, old, old man, ripe, shopping
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

1 week ago

communication, confession, date, ever, every, honesty, humor, idea, love, me, relationship, tell, thought
You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

1 week ago

bit, evil, girl, humor, important, little, lose, me, meet, relationship, strange
Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

1 month ago

comedy, dating, flirt, humor, i, love, me, need, nonsense, playful, post, sarcasm
Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

1 month ago

again, blink, calendar, every, frustration, humor, i, live, loop, Monday, monotony, repetition, routine, time, time loop, weekly, weekly routine
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

2 weeks ago

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Going viral on YouTube:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Going bananas on X:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Seen just now on Slack:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

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Activity Log ✨

There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

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There should be bloopers at the end of horror films to relax the viewer before sleeping.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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