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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Jan 5, 2026

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Seen just now on Instagram:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just landed via Facebook:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Spotted on X:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Going viral on YouTube:

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Shared recently on Slack:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Spotted on Threads:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

2 months ago

0

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the horror of unexpectedly encountering a sticky situation in public! 🤢🍯 It's like playing a cruel game of mystery stickiness – will it be gum, syrup, or a mystery goo? Proceed with caution, folks! 🔍🚫 #StickyFingers #StickAroundForMoreFun

awkwardness, being, discomfort, hygiene, nothing, public, situation, social, social situation, something, sticky, surprise, touch, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

0

2 months ago

American, correct, culture, dumb, french, gossip, humor, language, me, misunderstanding, next, observation, speak, stereotype, think, women
Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

0

2 months ago

again, crime, crime scene, crowd, dark, dark humor, exit, humor, interaction, irony, leaving, mystery, scene, social, social interaction, unexpected, walking, whisper
Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

0

2 months ago

couple, day, days, forget, forgot, home, humor, i, love, only, pretend, relationship, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

0

3 months ago

every, financial, financial status, humor, i, image, imagination, myself, never, poor, poverty, self, self-image, status, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

0

2 months ago

celebration, day, expectations, Groundhog, holiday, humor, i, love, ok, relationship, single, Valentine
Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

0

2 months ago

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

89 shares on Slack this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Making waves on Facebook:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Spotted on Slack:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Making waves on Instagram:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Going viral on X:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Going viral on X:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

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