Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Live now on Reddit:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Just landed via Reddit:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Just shared via Telegram:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

They should invent a good thing that happens.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If only there was a 'Good Luck Fairy' we could summon whenever needed! 🧚‍♂️ Maybe we can start a petition for that! 😉✨"

good, good thing, humor, invent, invention, optimism, positivity, should, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

0

2 months ago

activity, autograph, best, bible, every, fun, fun activity, hotel, humor, i, JC, prank, religion, wishes
My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

0

2 months ago

flu, humor, illness, joke, joking, kids, life, new, parenting, Pokémon, Puke-Achu, stomach, stomach flu, weeks
Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

0

2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work
I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attraction, beautiful, beautiful woman, car, compliment, fire, flattery, humor, i, inside, love, woman
I have thought one billion times about everything.

0

3 months ago

billion, everything, exaggeration, humor, hyperbole, i, overthinking, thinking, thought, times
No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

0

4 months ago

around, emotion, even, humor, joybaiting, lovebaiting, me, please, positivity, ragebaiting, try, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

58 shares on Slack this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Just shared via Threads:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Going viral on Instagram:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just landed via Slack:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

I have thought one billion times about everything.

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨