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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Spotted on Telegram:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Just shared via TikTok:

I need a massage for my brain.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Making waves on Reddit:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Just landed via Twitch:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Trending via YouTube:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

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They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.
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Commentary:
"Ah, January – the month that tests our endurance and our ability to resist the call of hibernation! 🥶 How about a version with a side of motivation and a sprinkle of sunshine? ☀️ Let's petition to make it happen before the next polar vortex hits! ❄️💪"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

86 shares on X this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Going viral on Messenger:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Making waves on Snapchat:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

Spotted on Slack:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Just landed via X:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Shared recently on Slack:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Going bananas on Instagram:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Making waves on WeChat:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

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