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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

15 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Trending via Telegram:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Trending via Instagram:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Going viral on Reddit:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Just landed via Facebook:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Breaking via Telegram:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Shared recently on Reddit:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Making waves on TikTok:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Spotted on Twitch:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

6 months ago

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, how time flies! 👵🌙 Just like a superhero losing their powers, our ability to pull all-nighters vanishes into the abyss of adulthood. 💤🦸‍♂️ It's like our bodies hit the snooze button on staying up late! 😂 #AgingGracefully

able, age, all nighter, body, change, exhaustion, humor, nighter, pull, same, sleep, used

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

15 minutes ago

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Trending via YouTube:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Shared recently on Slack:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Going viral on Messenger:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Live now on Discord:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Making waves on Facebook:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Live now on Pinterest:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

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