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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Going viral on Snapchat:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Making waves on X:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Spotted on TikTok:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Spotted on Instagram:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Going bananas on Instagram:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Witty quote about balancing chaos and fun, with a humorous, playful vibe.
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Commentary:
"2021: Where losing your mind and having the time of your life meet like never before! 🤪🎉 It's a rollercoaster ride with a twist of chaos and a dash of unforgettable moments – buckle up and enjoy the crazy ride!" 🎢✨

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

87 shares on Threads this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

55 shares on Slack this month:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

96 shares on Threads this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Seen just now on X:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Live now on Instagram:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

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