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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Trending via Messenger:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Breaking via Reddit:

Having a job ruined my life.

Spotted on Telegram:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Seen just now on Instagram:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Trending via YouTube:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Clever, humorous quote about plagiarism and research in playful text style.

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Commentary:
Looks like I'm not plagiarizing—I'm just conducting highly extensive research! 📚🔍😅

creativity, humor, joke, knowledge, originality, plagiarism, research, steal, stealing, writing

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

38 shares on Slack this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

35 shares on X this month:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Making waves on Slack:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Freshly posted on X:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Making waves on Discord:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Live now on Reddit:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Going viral on X:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Seen just now on TikTok:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Breaking via YouTube:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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