Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's liver is the designated scapegoat for the weekend shenanigans! 🍻🤢 Here's to hoping it forgives you before Monday rolls around! 😂 #WeekendWarrior"

again, alcohol, humor, liver, nightlife, party, pay, poor, regrets, tonight, week, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

2 months ago

creepiness, creepy, genie, humor, joke, just, lamp, myth, rub, want
“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

2 months ago

age, aging, day, discomfort, head, humor, hurts, i, neck, next, night, pain, pillow, sleep, turn, where, wrong
“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

5 months ago

casual, casual language, combo, conversation, expression, favorite, favorite combo, humor, language, phrase, slang
I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

2 months ago

ago, allergy, days, death, diagnosis, died, feeling, googled, health, humor, i, internet, joke, symptom, symptoms, well
Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

2 months ago

ball, date, food, humor, line, meat, pickup, pickup line, pun, spaghetti, want
Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

2 months ago

asked, attitude, frustration, humor, i, me, motivation, rebellious, reluctance, sarcasm, teen, teenager, teens, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

I drive like I’m immortal.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

93 shares on X this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

55 shares on TikTok this month:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

67 shares on X this month:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Live now on Messenger:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Trending via Slack:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Just shared via YouTube:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨