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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Trending via Facebook:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Spotted on Facebook:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Going viral on Instagram:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

Spotted on Slack:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Spreading quickly via X:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Making waves on Slack:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Without earphones on a long journey, it's like I'm in the prison of my own thoughts! 🎧🚫🛤️ #EarphoneOrBust"

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

0

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, eyewear, glasses, going, humor, just, ok, put
Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

0

5 months ago

actually, dating, girl, girls, guy, guys, honesty, humor, just, love, nice, nice guy, personality, relationship, think
I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

0

2 months ago

chance, conflict, humor, irony, luck, mind, violence
“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

0

6 months ago

budget, clothing, eating, finance, food, humor, lifestyle, money, spending, where
Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

0

2 months ago

beginning, child, ending, humor, learning, life, mommy, parenting, say
I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

0

2 months ago

action, action scene, always, comedy, dialog, flashbacks, frustration, mixed, mixing, movie, movie volume, neighbor, never, scene, sound, sound mixing, understand, understanding, volume, war, war flashbacks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

55 shares on X this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

16 shares on Twitch this month:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Seen just now on Slack:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Trending via Messenger:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Making waves on Reddit:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Live now on Messenger:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨