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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Just shared via X:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Just landed via Instagram:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just landed via Threads:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Live now on Snapchat:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"True friends don't judge each other, they save their best critiques for the rest of the world! 👯‍♂️👀 #SquadGoals #FriendshipGoals"

bonding, friend, friendship, fun, humor, judge, people, together, true, true friend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

0

2 months ago

commitment, dress, effort, expectations, humor, i, little, relationship, success
Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

0

2 months ago

adventure, choice, country, drug, drugs, foreign, foreign country, goal, guys, humor, kid, kids, life, life choice, main, marriage, married, travel, want, why
A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

0

5 months ago

1998, A Bug’s Life, animation, bugs, childhood, humor, life, me, movie, radicalized
The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, eat, food, fun, fun activity, happiness, key, order, pizza, repeat
Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

0

2 months ago

communication, dream, gwyneth, Gwyneth Paltrow, humor, i, last, me, message, night, paltrow, plan
Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

0

3 months ago

communication, excuse, eyesight, glasses, hearing, humor, i, misunderstanding, repeat, said, sorry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

59 shares on Slack this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

78 shares on Discord this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

Going bananas on X:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Breaking via TikTok:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just landed via Telegram:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨