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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,512

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Live now on YouTube:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Breaking via Reddit:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Just shared via Facebook:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Just landed via Facebook:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Spotted on Twitch:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Going bananas on Telegram:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

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Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.
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Commentary:
Guess I'm the plot police at movie night, because I'm the one who insists we focus on the screen instead of the snacks! 🍿🎬👀

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

67 shares on Discord this month:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,544

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Going viral on Threads:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Spotted on Telegram:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Just shared via WeChat:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Going viral on X:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

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