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Commentary:
Looks like you're a full-time No-Time person then! 😅⏰ Afternoons, mornings, evenings… you've mastered the art of not being ready at any hour! 🤷‍♂️ Keep rocking that timeless vibe! ⏳✨ #NoTimePerson

afternoon, coffee, energy, humor, person, personality, procrastination, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

5 months ago

attention, attitude, even, hatred, humor, imagine, indifference, me, paying, sarcasm, self-confidence
I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

3 months ago

adult, am, cartoons, childhood, discussion, full, hole, humor, i, listen, me, patrol, paw, PAW Patrol, plot, plot hole
The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

2 months ago

attention, authority, example, humor, irony, leadership, motivation, problem
I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, know, let, procrastination, put, sarcasm, wit
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

2 days ago

bed, daily, daily life, frustration, going, going to bed, government, life, politics, sick, thinking, thought, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

33 shares on Slack this month:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Shared recently on X:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Trending via Reddit:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Just shared via Facebook:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨