Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,695

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Making waves on TikTok:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Spotted on Reddit:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Type of hangover that makes you understand why normies spend $25 for a poor soul to bike a bagel to them.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

May the algorithms be with you.

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Just landed via Messenger:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Breaking via Reddit:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feels like we're all taking advice from a bunch of caffeinated squirrels! 🐿️🤪 #TwitterTherapy"

discussion, group, group therapy, humor, licensed, media, online, online discussion, social, social media, therapy, Twitter, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

0

2 months ago

communication, hear, hope, humor, i, me, relationship, thinking
“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

0

2 months ago

another, bikini, diet, eating, food, humor, i, irony, joke, season, summer, whisper
The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

0

2 months ago

40s, 50, 50s, age, being, humor, life, life stage, listening, people, say, stage, wait, waiting, worst
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

0

2 months ago

church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner
I only drink when I people.

0

2 months ago

activity, drink, fun, fun activity, humor, i, only, people, socializing
Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, confession, cop, humor, joke, opening, paranoia, police, sarcasm, say, social, talking, used, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

75 shares on Discord this month:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Mike is short for Micycle.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

85 shares on X this month:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Making waves on Reddit:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Making waves on Threads:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Going viral on Slack:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Spotted on Facebook:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

I only drink when I people.

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨