Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Trending via Reddit:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Live now on Discord:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Trending via Slack:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Making waves on TikTok:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Seen just now on X:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feels like we're all taking advice from a bunch of caffeinated squirrels! 🐿️🤪 #TwitterTherapy"

discussion, group, group therapy, humor, licensed, media, online, online discussion, social, social media, therapy, Twitter, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

0

2 months ago

amazing, attraction, attractive, born, brain, day, distraction, functions, human, human brain, humor, only, someone, speaking, taking, test, thinking
Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

0

2 months ago

anytime, around, care, confidence, day, deodorant, following, humor, i, me, personal, personal care, scent, sexy, stranger, switch
Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, humor, i, just, memory, reason, upstairs, why, yesterday
Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

0

2 months ago

basketball, comparison, egg, golf, hit, humor, i, k, need, playful, playful comparison, pumpkin, sports, sun
Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, exhaustion, here, humor, life, reality, responsibility, tired, welcome
Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

0

2 months ago

apocalyptic, argument, arguments, breaks, comedy, coming, debate, end, end of world, expert, expert panel, fire, humor, ice, next, others, panel, satire, say, side, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

27 shares on Slack this month:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Making waves on Messenger:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just shared via TikTok:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Trending via Facebook:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨