Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Just shared via Facebook:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Spotted on Messenger:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Spotted on WeChat:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Feels like we're all taking advice from a bunch of caffeinated squirrels! 🐿️🤪 #TwitterTherapy"

discussion, group, group therapy, humor, licensed, media, online, online discussion, social, social media, therapy, Twitter, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

0

2 months ago

affection, attraction, compliment, flirty, good, humor, kiss, me, okay, romance, smell
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

0

2 days ago

born, British, British culture, chest, culture, hair, ham, humor, i, man, moved, name, people, place, place name, pun, stall, stereotype, university, woke, wordplay
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing
Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

0

2 months ago

12, addiction, chocolate, day, eye, hearing, humor, lost, struggle
Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

0

5 months ago

bathroom, centaur, creature, difficulty, humor, hygiene, mythical, mythical creature, wipe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Making waves on Slack:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨