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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Making waves on Telegram:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Seen just now on Instagram:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about confidence and self-acceptance with a bold, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Embracing my awesomeness just to annoy the haters. 😂✨ #SorryNotSorry

attitude, being, being me, confidence, haters, i, identity, keep, me, perseverance, self, self-confidence, unfortunately

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

2 weeks ago

Christmas, couple, funny gift, gift, holiday, humor, i, jacket, joke, matching, relationship, straight, straight jacket, us
Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

2 weeks ago

case, Christmas, cookie, different, holiday, humor, joke, just, nakey, playful, Santa, sleeping, tonight, type, wants
Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

1 week ago

after, alcohol, casual, drink, drinking, drunk, drunk text, going, humor, just, night, night out, send, social, text, texting, weekend
Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

1 week ago

account, celebrity, going, hack, humor, joke, Kanye, media, normal, post, social, social media, something
If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

1 week ago

adventure, asked, curiosity, curiosity-driven, decision, exploration, fantasy, front, humor, ID, me, portal, questions
My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

3 weeks ago

away, chess, eating, every, humor, look away, pieces, strategy, time

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Going viral on Messenger:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Just landed via Messenger:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Going viral on Discord:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Making waves on Snapchat:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Trending via YouTube:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨