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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Live now on WeChat:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Spotted on X:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going viral on YouTube:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Playful quote about how chores surprisingly boost mental health, with a humorous, witty vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew that battling dust bunnies could double as therapy? 🧹🧼🗑️😅

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

64 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Making waves on Slack:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Live now on Reddit:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Making waves on Twitch:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Making waves on X:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

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