Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Making waves on Instagram:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Just landed via Facebook:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Just shared via Threads:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Seen just now on YouTube:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

5 days ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about using Twitter as a casual memory journal, light-hearted and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan until my future self tries to decode those cryptic tweets! 🚀☎️🤔

journal, media, memory, posting, social, social media, Twitter, using, vague

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m doing better than my parents at my age. They had, like, no followers.”

53 shares on X this month:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

53 shares on X this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Spotted on Slack:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Going viral on X:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Just shared via Slack:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Going viral on TikTok:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Live now on X:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨