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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2032 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,194

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,194

3 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Breaking via Telegram:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Just landed via TikTok:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Spotted on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Going viral on Threads:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Reported on Twitch:

Blink if you want me!

Trending via TikTok:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

6 months ago

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of vacation – where your mind drifts away to a tropical paradise, but your bowels remain firmly grounded in reality! 💩🏖️ Just when you thought you could leave all your worries behind, your bowels kindly remind you they're not taking a break anytime soon. Happy travels, and may your digestive system be ever in your favor! 😆✈️"

body, bowels, every, except, humor, relax, stress, time, travel, vacation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2032 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,194

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,194

3 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Trending via Instagram:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Spotted on YouTube:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Making waves on Reddit:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Seen just now on X:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Trending via Discord:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

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