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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Just landed via Reddit:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Just landed via Messenger:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Breaking via X:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
LinkedIn is the new Wild West where profile views are the ultimate showdown 🤠📈🔍

after, behavior, dominance, humor, LinkedIn, media, networking, online, online behavior, social, social media, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

0

2 weeks ago

age, am, being, call, car, car warranty, check, check-up, day, every, humor, i, India, little, me, older, older age, phone, phone call, scam, scam call, someone, telemarketing, warranty
I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, idiot, radioactive, sarcasm, superpowers, wit
I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

0

2 months ago

clear, company, fruits, humor, i, idea, irony, making, medicine, taste, think
Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, dating, getting, getting the ick, ick, moment, peeve, pet, pet peeve, put, rate, windshield, windshield wiper, wiper
I have the bruises of a much more active person.

0

2 months ago

active, bruises, fitness, humor, i, irony, much, person
My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

0

2 months ago

activity, aspiration, beat, buy, competition, dream, fun, horse, humor, me, race, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on TikTok this month:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

21 shares on X this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Going bananas on Telegram:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Live now on Reddit:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Live now on YouTube:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Going viral on Instagram:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Live now on YouTube:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨