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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,988

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Just landed via Discord:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Going bananas on Reddit:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Spotted on Twitch:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wow, you mean your eyes come with the premium upgrade pack? 🕶️✨ Who knew 20/20 vision was the ultimate life hack! 👀😂

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

1 month ago
door, expectation, hold, humor, i, just, lady, me, open, refrigerator, relationship, romance, someone, treat, want
If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

1 month ago
celebrity, even, hacked, humor, identity, irony, Kanye, know, privacy, surprise
Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

1 month ago
behavior, comedy, critique, good, humor, internet, media, most, newspaper, nose, online, online behavior, playful, sarcasm, satire, social, social media, Twitter
Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

1 month ago
accidentally, alien, aubrey, Aubrey Plaza, celebrity, comedy, culture, Earth, famous, humor, leave, observation, plaza, pop, pop culture, study, us
Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

1 month ago
bedroom, everyday, everyday life, excitement, exciting, humor, i, knows, life, living, living room, movement, next, room, where
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

2 months ago
aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Live now on Facebook:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Just shared via WeChat:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

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Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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