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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Going bananas on Reddit:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Just shared via Slack:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Spotted on Discord:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Trending via Threads:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Trending via Pinterest:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

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We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.
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Commentary:
Adulting is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—super confusing but somehow you just go with it! 😉🛌🎢

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on TikTok this month:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

18 shares on Discord this month:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Just shared via Facebook:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Trending via YouTube:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Live now on YouTube:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Going bananas on TikTok:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Spotted on Threads:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

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