Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Trending via Discord:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Breaking via Threads:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Freshly posted on Discord:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Just shared via WeChat:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Just landed via Threads:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting is like trying to fold a fitted sheet—super confusing but somehow you just go with it! 😉🛌🎢

adult, best, childhood, era, growing, growing up, humor, kid, life, life stage, nostalgia, stage, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

0

2 months ago

cleverness, common, common sense, fruit, fruit salad, humor, knowledge, salad, sense, tomato, wisdom
My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

0

2 months ago

care, family, humor, hygiene, kids, late, less, management, parenting, personal, personal hygiene, running, running late, somewhere, time, time management
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

0

3 months ago

actually, anyone, best, confusion, cooking, food, hope, humor, just, know, language, pronounce, pronunciation, sauce, stumble, through, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce, wordplay
There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

0

2 months ago

controversy, culinary, culinary controversy, debate, food, food debate, fun, humor, laws, pineapple, pizza, pizza topping, quirky, topping
I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

0

2 months ago

cartoons, confusion, even, fighting, honesty, humor, i, know, movy, Transformers
Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, danger, dangerous, date, gone, humor, joke, relationship, restaurant, toilet, toilets, vanish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

46 shares on Discord this month:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

69 shares on Threads this month:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Just landed via WeChat:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Going viral on Instagram:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Going viral on Threads:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Just landed via Messenger:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨