Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,045

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Just shared via TikTok:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Going bananas on Discord:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Making waves on Telegram:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Spotted on X:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Summer sun: 1, Pale legs: 0 😂🧛‍♂️ Stay strong, vampire legs, maybe invest in some SPF 1000 next time! ☀️"

clothing, humor, leg, legs, pale, pale leg, sensation, shorts, summer, sunlight, vampire, vampires

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, just, mindset, problem, stress, worry, worrying, worship
A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

0

2 months ago

bath, big, bowl, hot, hot tub, human, human soup, humor, joke, relaxation, soup, tub
Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

0

5 months ago

3, benefit, day, days, disease, health, humor, immunity, job, job benefit, life, months, new, new job, office, office humor, sick, sick day, starting, work, work life
Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

0

2 months ago

everyone, gender, humor, men, nice, self-care, skin, stress
Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

0

2 months ago

beer, humor, job, jobs, leisure, people, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, weed
How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

0

2 months ago

corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

96 shares on Threads this month:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

60 shares on Threads this month:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Broadcasted on X:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Live now on Twitch:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Breaking via Telegram:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨