Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My favorite date activity is ice skating because I’m really good at it, and it allows me to assert dominance on the ice.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Breaking via Reddit:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Just shared via Messenger:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Spotted on WeChat:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Trending via YouTube:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about pale legs and sunlight, humorously comparing them to vampires enjoying the sun.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Summer sun: 1, Pale legs: 0 😂🧛‍♂️ Stay strong, vampire legs, maybe invest in some SPF 1000 next time! ☀️"

clothing, humor, leg, legs, pale, pale leg, sensation, shorts, summer, sunlight, vampire, vampires

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on X this month:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

98 shares on Slack this month:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Going viral on Telegram:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨