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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Just landed via Messenger:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Shared recently on X:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Seen just now on X:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Just landed via Telegram:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Trending via YouTube:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

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We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the power of the gaze! 👀 A classic case of 'Foot-In-Mouth' syndrome, but with a twist! 👣 Who knew eyes could be so expressive, enough to elicit a toe-tally awkward encounter! 😂 Lesson learned: watch where you step, or rather, where you stare! 👀👣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on TikTok this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

48 shares on X this month:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

63 shares on X this month:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Elliott didn’t care about E.T. He just wanted a flying bike.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Trending via Twitch:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Just landed via WeChat:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Just shared via WeChat:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Shared recently on Discord:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

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