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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Going viral on Discord:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Trending via Slack:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Live now on WeChat:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Just landed via YouTube:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Spotted on Twitch:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

2 months ago

0

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the delightful mystery of middle age – where even the act of simply existing can provoke a hangover! 🎉🥂 Who needs a cocktail when you have the magical power of aging to do the job for you? Cheers to waking up feeling 'experienced' every day! 🍹🤪 #MiddleAgeMagic

age, drink, humor, hungover, life, middle, middle age, reality, wake, wake up, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

0

2 months ago

boy, favorite, funky, funky music, music, playing, song, white, white boy
I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

0

2 months ago

alarm, confusion, deep, humor, i, late, morning, panic, relief, sleep, thinking, wake, wake up, woke, work
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

0

2 months ago

back, behavior, call, cat, dog, humor, message, pet, pet behavior, procrastination, witty
Not again. I mean good morning.

0

2 months ago

again, expression, good, humor, i, mean, morning, routine, sarcasm
Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

0

2 months ago

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

0

2 months ago

air, difference, fresh, fresh air, health, humor, humor quote, nature, outdoors, plant, plants, self-care, sound, sunlight, well-being

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

83 shares on Discord this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,282

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Just shared via YouTube:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Just landed via Slack:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Going viral on Facebook:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Breaking via WeChat:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Going viral on Snapchat:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

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