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Ah, the delightful mystery of middle age – where even the act of simply existing can provoke a hangover! 🎉🥂 Who needs a cocktail when you have the magical power of aging to do the job for you? Cheers to waking up feeling 'experienced' every day! 🍹🤪 #MiddleAgeMagic

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

1 month ago
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I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

1 month ago
another, anticipation, exciting, exciting year, forward, humor, life, looking, modern, modern life, phone, staring, technology, year
Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

1 month ago
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If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

1 month ago
asked, bigger, boat, humor, i, Jaws, just, movie, shark, smaller, wish, wishing
Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

4 weeks ago
adult, class, Cody, elementary, elementary school, every, growing, growing up, i, met, name, nostalgia, school, where
I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

1 month ago
contemplation, enjoyment, fill, i, leisure, life, life perspective, pace, perspective, porch, relaxation, sitting, slow, slow pace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Just landed via Discord:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Breaking via Reddit:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Just shared via Facebook:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

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Activity Log ✨

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

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Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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