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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,002

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Trending via Twitch:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Going viral on Threads:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

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Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.
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Commentary:
Finding raspberries in the bread aisle? Checked. Becoming a grocery navigation expert? Loading… 🍞🧐🛒

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

48 shares on X this month:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your pronouns should be get/help.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Just shared via Discord:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Trending via Telegram:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Breaking via Threads:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Making waves on Twitch:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

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