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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

56 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Breaking via Facebook:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Just shared via Twitch:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Just landed via Discord:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Shared recently on X:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Seen just now on Reddit:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Reported on WeChat:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

3 months ago

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

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Commentary:
Ah, the secret to stand-up comedy—survive enough awkward moments, and suddenly you're the life of the party… or just wonderfully weird! 😅🎉 Remember, a little social quirkiness is just your my way of turning survival stories into laughs. So keep being uniquely you—after all, that’s what makes the gathering memorable! 🤪🥳

awkwardness, gathering, gatherings, humor, interaction, kill, personality, resilience, social, social awkwardness, social gathering, social interaction, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

777 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,939

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,939

56 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Making waves on Discord:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Reported on Snapchat:

I am single, please disturb me!

Making waves on WeChat:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Seen just now on Slack:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Going viral on Twitch:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Freshly posted on X:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Reported on Pinterest:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

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