Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just shared via Discord:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Just landed via YouTube:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about boomers and their reliance on a paper shredder.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
They'd probably start a shredding playlist of power ballads from the 80s! 🎸🗑️🎶

boomer, Boomers, generation, humor, joke, paper, paper shredder, shredder, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

1 month ago

humor, i, leave, leg, me, parlor, prank, shaving, tattoo, tattoo parlor, trick
I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

3 weeks ago

Amazon, Amazon review, free, free time, humor, i, irony, leisure, online, online shopping, positive, positive review, productivity, rake, review, sarcasm, shopping, someone, time, wish
Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

1 month ago

40s, adulthood, age, changes, exhaustion, humor, life, life changes, sleeping, tired, welcome
Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

3 weeks ago

absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying
The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

4 weeks ago

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand
I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

3 weeks ago

attraction, falling, flirting, humor, humorist, i, ID, love, media, once, pics, playful, post, self-awareness, self-confidence, social, social media, want

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

80 shares on Slack this month:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

40 shares on Slack this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

61 shares on Threads this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Spotted on Slack:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Spotted on WeChat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Just landed via X:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Making waves on Instagram:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Going viral on Twitch:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Broadcasted on X:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Breaking via Facebook:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨