Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Professional Pillow Fluffer: Because fluffing pillows requires zero motivation or talent, just pure dedication to comfort. 💤😂 #DreamJob"

career, good, humor, job, motivation, people, self-deprecation, talent

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

0

2 months ago

accident, burpee, clumsy, doing, exercise, face, humor, i, knee, myself, time, workout
I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

0

2 months ago

clone, cooking, couch, dishes, domestic, domestic tasks, humor, i, laundry, myself, procrastination, self-improvement, sitting, tasks, TV, watching
“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, irony, life, misunderstanding, prison, relationship, rest, sarcasm, understanding, want, witty
First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

0

2 months ago

buying, celebration, firework, fireworks, first time, high five, humor, i, ID, me, ones, picked, right, salesman, sure, time, wink
My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

0

4 months ago

always, coffee, confidence, daily, daily routine, drink, humor, plan, plans, routine, same, sexy, today
Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

0

2 months ago

daffodil, flower, humor, insult, playful, sarcasm, sounds, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

52 shares on X this month:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

47 shares on X this month:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mẹ.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Going viral on TikTok:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I didn’t get the part of the brain that lets you relax, just the one that overthinks.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Making waves on Discord:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Seen just now on Threads:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Daffodil totally sounds like an insult, you blooming daffodil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨