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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Making waves on Slack:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Trending via X:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

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When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate breaking point – the dreaded TV email address entry! 📺🤯 Who knew such a simple task could lead to utter madness and rage? It's the modern-day equivalent of losing your keys in a black hole! 🔑🕳️ Let's hope you keep your cool until the next episode of 'Typing Wars: Email Address Edition'!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

61 shares on X this month:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Just shared via YouTube:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Trending via Messenger:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

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