Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Making waves on Reddit:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Going viral on Messenger:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Trending via YouTube:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Spotted on YouTube:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Going viral on Slack:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Trending via Slack:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the dream: skip the work and go straight to the tropical beach villa! 🍹💸🏝️

aspiration, grow, humor, i, ID, lottery, lottery winner, retirement, winner, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

0

2 months ago

being, cooking, day, food, hate, humor, hunger, i, meals, most, myself, own, responsibility, responsible, self-care, spoil, starve
I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

0

2 months ago

coping, humor, i, listen, listening, opinions, sarcasm, self-defense, wit
If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

0

2 months ago

humor, milk, motivation, oats, self-expression, want, whatever
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

0

2 months ago

apartment, app, clean, cleaning, coming, dating, dating app, deception, girl, hell, hot, hot girl, humor, i, match, motivation, over, prank, pretending, roommate, tell, Tinder
I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

0

5 days ago

distant, family, humor, relationship, starting, uncle, understand, understanding
Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

0

2 months ago

diet, doughnut, food, hard, humor, i, sprinkles, struggle, temptation, thing, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

20 shares on Slack this month:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

88 shares on WeChat this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

67 shares on X this month:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Trending via YouTube:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Just shared via Facebook:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Trending via TikTok:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Going bananas on YouTube:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨