Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of weight distribution – seems like your body's architecture might need a remodeling permit! 🏗️😄 Just remember, you're not alone in this 'construction zone' journey!"

around, body, body image, engineer, fitness, good, health, humor, i, image, legs, lose, put, stomach, structural, structural engineer, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

4 days ago

after, better, communication, humor, i, irony, left, mistake, realize, regret, say, saying, silence, things, thoughts, unsaid
Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

4 days ago

activity, dancing, humor, line, line dancing, restroom, social, social activity, waiting, women
Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

2 weeks ago

call, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, item, keys, lost, lost item, put, someone, where
I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

2 days ago

clothes, daily, daily life, doing, fashion, humor, i, laundry, life, lot, procrastination, someone, wear
The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

2 weeks ago

creativity, food, humor, imagination, joke, limit, physics, put, sandwich, thing
I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

2 weeks ago

advice, expectations, family, house, i, kitchen, me, mom, new, organize, tell, wait, wrong

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix & by yourself.

24 shares on Threads this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Aliens, robots, mutant ladybugs — whoever takes over will be better than this.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Making waves on Reddit:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Going viral on WeChat:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Shared recently on X:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Just landed via X:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Spotted on Slack:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Making waves on TikTok:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Spotted on Telegram:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨