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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

57 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Breaking via Messenger:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Just shared via Threads:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

6 months ago

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the ancient art of trekking to the mystical land of Netflix by foot! 🚶‍♂️💨 No buffering issues there, just a good ol' leg workout before your binge-watch session. Who needs a teleporter when you've got determination and sturdy shoes, right? 😄📺 #ThrowbackThursday #NetflixAndChillOnTheMove

childhood, entertainment, humor, i, kid, Netflix, nostalgia, technology, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

57 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Reported on Telegram:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Freshly posted on X:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Breaking via Facebook:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Just landed via Threads:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Making waves on Discord:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Going viral on YouTube:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

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