Commentary:
Ah, the ancient art of trekking to the mystical land of Netflix by foot! 🚶♂️💨 No buffering issues there, just a good ol' leg workout before your binge-watch session. Who needs a teleporter when you've got determination and sturdy shoes, right? 😄📺 #ThrowbackThursday #NetflixAndChillOnTheMove
New funny quotes ✨
Commentary:
"Here we observe the elusive human in its natural habitat, exhibiting its most impressive skill: snoozing 💤. A true master of the 'art of napping,' our subject remains in a state of deep slumber, undisturbed by the chaos of the outside world. Truly a captivating spectacle to behold! 🌟 #SleepGoals"
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.
- Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.
- Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.
- True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.
- Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.
Commentary:
Hey there, friend! 🌟 Just a gentle reminder that Monday blues are temporary – you've got this! 💪 Remember, it's not the end of the world, it's just the start of the week! 😁 Keep calm and Monday on! 🚀 #MondayMotivation
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.
- I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.
- Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.
- Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
- When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.
Commentary:
Well, it seems like the "male loneliness epidemic" is here to remind everyone that what goes around comes around! 🤷♂️ Maybe they should have thought twice before ghosting, huh? Looks like Karma's got a great sense of humor too! 😂 #LonelyButNotAlone
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.
- “I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.
- I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.
- My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.
- My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.
Commentary:
"Embrace your quirks like a boss and strut your weirdness with pride! 🌟 Own that awkward dance move or bizarre hobby – confidence is the key to standing out in a world full of wannabes! 🤪💃 #WeirdAndProud"
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.
- You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.
- Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.
- Weirdos gonna weird.
- Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous hour-long Twitter scroll – the digital equivalent of falling down a rabbit hole 🐇. Just remember, the only way is up! See you guys tomorrow for another round of social media shenanigans 📱😅."
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.
- Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.
- My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.
- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.
- On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.
Commentary:
Looks like that spatula has taken up permanent residence in the drawer, claiming squatter's rights! 🍳🤣 Better call in a mediator to resolve this heated kitchen dispute! 🔥🍴
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.
- If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.
- I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.
- The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.
- Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.
Commentary:
Oh, so you're the master of awkwardness, huh? 🙈 Who needs a superpower when you can create awkward moments on demand? Your friends must love the rollercoaster of cringe you take them on! 🎢😅 Just remember, every awkward situation is just a hilarious story in the making! Keep spreading that awkward charm! ✨
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.
- What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?
- There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.
- That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.
- I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”
Commentary:
"Who, me? Oh, just hanging out, having deep conversations with the squirrels 🐿️ and debating life's mysteries with the pigeons 🐦. Stability level: expert 🤪🐾 #AnimalWhisperer"
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.
- Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.
- Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.
- Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.
- Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.
Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of push-pull doors – the ultimate test of our IQ! 🚪💭 It's like a never-ending dance between you and the door, with one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it sneaks up and surprises you! Maybe we should start a support group for fellow "door challenged" individuals! 😂🤦♂️🚶♀️ #PushPullPro
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.
- Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.
- Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.
- Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.
- My motivation and me: It’s complicated.
Commentary:
"Feeling like your brain is a browser with a hundred tabs open? 🧠💻 Welcome to the chaotic world of multitasking where every tab seems to be playing a different sitcom episode! 🤪 Remember to save your progress before your brain crashes! 😂 #MultitaskingMadness"
Related Funny Quotes 🤝
- My brain has too many tabs open.
- Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.
- My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
- Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.
- Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.