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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Trending via Telegram:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Live now on YouTube:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Trending via WeChat:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Seen just now on Threads:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Just shared via Messenger:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Spotted on Facebook:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

2 months ago

0

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the ancient art of trekking to the mystical land of Netflix by foot! 🚶‍♂️💨 No buffering issues there, just a good ol' leg workout before your binge-watch session. Who needs a teleporter when you've got determination and sturdy shoes, right? 😄📺 #ThrowbackThursday #NetflixAndChillOnTheMove

childhood, entertainment, humor, i, kid, Netflix, nostalgia, technology, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

0

2 months ago

comparison, humor, life, losers, lottery, most, odds, people, tickets
According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, expectations, family, gifts, humor, kids, lists, money, parenting, pretty, think, well
Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

0

5 months ago

couple, enjoy, fun, i, interaction, opinion, social, social interaction, third, third wheel, unpopular, unpopular opinion, wheel
Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

0

1 month ago

20s, 40s, age, aging, before, going, going out, home, humor, lifestyle, nightlife, party, used, welcome
Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

0

2 months ago

back, bed, dream, dreams, give, humor, motivation, procrastination, sleep
“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

0

2 months ago

delusional, describe, enough, humor, people, perception, reality, strong, word

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

29 shares on Discord this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,714

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Spotted on Discord:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Trending via TikTok:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Seen just now on X:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

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