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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Making waves on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Breaking via Threads:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Making waves on Discord:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Shared recently on Threads:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a bedtime boogeyman 😱😂 #SleepyScaries 😴👻

bedtime, fear, humor, i, night, past, scared, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

2 months ago

after, anything, carbohydrate, diet, evening, food, humor, lifestyle, read, reading, self-discipline, trying
I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

2 months ago

accomplishing, humor, laziness, nothing, productivity, proud, self-esteem, well-being
Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

2 months ago

attractiveness, beautiful, compliments, confidence, dating, follows, humor, me, media, new, self-esteem, social, social media, still, thing, women
Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

4 months ago

back, cool, depression, ever, got, health, humor, inspiration, life, mental, mental health, motivation, recovery, sex, spark, worst
The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

5 months ago

basic, comical, cost, costs, dining, fact, fast, fast food, food, humor, inflation, meal, price, restaurant
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

2 months ago

activity, aggression, building, face, fun, fun activity, humor, i, playful, playful aggression, punch, snowman, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

36 shares on Slack this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Breaking via TikTok:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Spotted on TikTok:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Going viral on Messenger:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Live now on Messenger:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When it gets past my bedtime, I get so scared.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨