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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,293

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Making waves on Facebook:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Going bananas on Slack:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Going viral on Telegram:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Trending via YouTube:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

2 months ago

0

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

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Commentary:
"Picture it: post-apocalyptic world, crumbling cities, and fierce battles for survival… Am I the only one imagining a glorious cheese-making warrior clan? 🧀🗡️ Let's hope they can whip up some brie in between dodging zombies and forging alliances. Priorities, people! #CheeseForTheWin"

cheese, civilization, food, hope, humor, i, know, left, people, rebuild, society, still, survival

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

0

5 months ago

bonding, boner, carpool, club, drive, grown, grown man, home, humor, male, male bonding, man, men, strip, strip club, together
I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, buy, ever, give, harmonica, humor, i, learning, lot, music, never, over, someone, used
No email needs to tell me not to reply.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, message, reply, tech, tell, work
They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

0

2 months ago

another, comedy, dinosaurs, film, guess, humor, jurassic, let, loose, me, movie, sequel
Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

0

2 months ago

appearance, asking, honesty, humor, i, just, me, self-deprecation, stop, tired, ugly
A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

0

3 weeks ago

attraction, communication, flirting, reach, reach out, thinking, urge, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

92 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

82 shares on X this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,482

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Trending via Discord:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Breaking via Instagram:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

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