Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,579

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Spotted on Twitch:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Making waves on Reddit:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Going viral on Messenger:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Going bananas on Telegram:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Making waves on Instagram:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Just landed via Telegram:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

0
When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕶️💼 Feeling chic and mysterious? Rocking all black attire can make a bold statement! Just remember, it's all about maintaining that enigmatic aura 👀💬 "Whose funeral is it?" Oh, just keeping my options open… 😂 #FashionablyUndecided #AllBlackEverything

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Discord this month:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

33 shares on X this month:

Are you a software update, because not now!

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

69 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I want this laziness removed from my body.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Trending via Messenger:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Spotted on Reddit:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Going viral on WeChat:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Just shared via X:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Making waves on Threads:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴