Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🕶️💼 Feeling chic and mysterious? Rocking all black attire can make a bold statement! Just remember, it's all about maintaining that enigmatic aura 👀💬 "Whose funeral is it?" Oh, just keeping my options open… 😂 #FashionablyUndecided #AllBlackEverything

around, black, black clothes, clothes, decision, funeral, good, having, humor, look around, remark, response, room, saying, someone, witty, witty remark

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

1 month ago
arrest, arrested, call, communication, humor, ig, IG story, jail, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, phone call, should, social, social media, story
I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

1 month ago
age, closer, commitment, dating, humor, i, life, life stage, relationship, retirement, single, stage, think
I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

1 month ago
catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

1 month ago
difference, gender, humor, men, nice, relationship, smell, women
I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

1 month ago
change, day, doing, every, every day, flirt, humor, ID, laundry, me, meant, name, relationship, think
Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

3 months ago
derivative, disappointed, disappointment, dream, just, last, nights, obvious, stuff, symbolism

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Going bananas on Slack:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Trending via Twitch:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Seen just now on Slack:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Just landed via Messenger:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

Going viral on Threads:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏