Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Trending via Facebook:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just shared via TikTok:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
The secret to parenting skincare: dishwasher steam facials—because who needs a spa when you have a kitchen! ☕️🚿😆

coffee, coffee cup, cup, daily, daily life, dishwasher, humor, just, life, open, parent, routine, skincare, skincare routine, steam

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

0

2 months ago

always, best, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, shouldn’t, things
Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

0

2 months ago

attitude, even, humor, humor quote, i, me, option, perspective, sarcasm, someone, thinking, told, wit
Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

0

2 months ago

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

0

2 months ago

broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation
You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

0

2 months ago

dyslexia, humor, irony, language, sexy, spell, wordplay
Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

forgetfulness, grocery, grocery store, home, humor, irony, memory, need, nothing, refresh, shopping, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

88 shares on Discord this month:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

22 shares on Twitch this month:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Just landed via Twitch:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Just shared via Facebook:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Trending via Snapchat:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨