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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Breaking via Twitch:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Just shared via WeChat:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Turning holiday shopping into a dairy emergency, one gift at a time! 🥛🎄😂

Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

13 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Going viral on Threads:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Spotted on Slack:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Spotted on WeChat:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Going viral on Facebook:

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Going bananas on Reddit:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

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Activity Log ✨

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨