Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,764

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Just landed via Discord:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Trending via Twitch:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Spotted on Telegram:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Breaking via Telegram:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

11 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Turning holiday shopping into a dairy emergency, one gift at a time! 🥛🎄😂

Christmas, Christmas present, gift, gift opening, humor, milk, opening, present, remember, said, while, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

0

2 months ago

alexandria, browsing, history, humor, i, internet, just, knowledge, library, Library of Alexandria, loss, lost, tabs, tragedy, understand
Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

0

2 months ago

bun, day, enough, exercise, hair, humor, just, lazy, lazy day, put, self-care, today, workout
I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

0

2 months ago

arrival, baby, baby Jesus, Christmas, humor, i, Jesus, just, looking, man, men, Nativity, phone, phones, scene, set, technology, waiting, wise, Wise Man
The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

0

1 month ago

chores, cleaning, house, housework, humor, minute, procrastination, sit, thing, tidying, worst
My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

0

2 weeks ago

conflict, control, country, exaggeration, fight, fighting, humor, joke, much, oil, over, skin
Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

0

2 months ago

activity, aliens, basket, creativity, fellas, friendship, fun, fun activity, gift, gift basket, humor, making, me, welcome, welcome gift

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

66 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

94 shares on Slack this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Just landed via X:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Just shared via Slack:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨