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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Shared recently on Discord:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

Going bananas on Slack:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Going viral on Discord:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Going viral on Reddit:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Naming rice cakes must have been the peak of spicy creativity, right next to the adventure of Paris, Texas! 🥴🍚🏞️

cake, food, food name, humor, name, Paris, place, place name, responsible, rice, rice cake, Texas, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, ever, humor, irony, meteor, meteorologist, meteorologists, observation, talking, weather
I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

0

2 months ago

awesome, coffee, confidence, evolution, humor, i, motivation, need, positivity, self-improvement, state
Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

0

5 months ago

availability, behavior, conversation, drinking, drunk, emotional, emotional availability, emotionally, humor, i, me, please, sober, social, social behavior, stop, talking, taxi, unavailable, why
Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

0

2 months ago

arguing, humor, kids, little, normalize, parenting, rude
I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

0

2 months ago

best, Google, Googling, humor, i, Italy, money, time, timing, travel, vacation, visit
If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

0

2 weeks ago

feel, feeling, feeling unwell, going, humor, indifference, just, love, man, remember, something, through, time, tough, tough love, tough time, unwell, well

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

83 shares on X this month:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Live now on Pinterest:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Just landed via TikTok:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Spotted on Threads:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Making waves on Threads:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

I was googling the best time to visit Italy. It is when you have money.

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨