Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

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The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

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Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

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I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

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Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

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Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

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Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.