Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Seen just now on Threads:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Just landed via X:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to achieve the ultimate stealth mode: 99% invisible, 1% human 😂👻

communication, even, here, humor, introvert, personality, presence, quiet, sarcasm, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

0

2 months ago

blood, drinking, enjoy, enjoyment, hot, humor, insomnia, keep, me, night, summer, thoughts, vampire
Time needs a speed limit.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, life, limit, needs, philosophy, speed, time
People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

0

2 months ago

deserve, food, food humor, food preference, fry, humor, humor at food, opinion, people, potato, preference, ridicule, sarcasm, seriously, shame, sweet, sweet potato fry, taken
Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

0

2 months ago

animal, better, cow, humor, moose, name
I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

0

2 months ago

action, action scene, always, comedy, dialog, flashbacks, frustration, mixed, mixing, movie, movie volume, neighbor, never, scene, sound, sound mixing, understand, understanding, volume, war, war flashbacks
You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

0

2 months ago

delicious, food, friends, friendship, fry, guess, humor, i, play, play on words, saying, spell, words

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Telegram this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

10 shares on Discord this month:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

58 shares on Discord this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Just landed via TikTok:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

May the algorithms be with you.

Live now on Reddit:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Live now on Instagram:

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Just landed via Facebook:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Just landed via Instagram:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Time needs a speed limit.

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨