Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where we could just give people a gentle tap on the head to determine their ripeness! 🍉😂 Who knew watermelons had it all figured out while we're still dealing with personality tests?"

bad, head, humor, normal, people, tap, tested, testing, watermelon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

2 months ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

1 month ago

before, conversation, Groundhog, humor, ID, prediction, spring, winter, word, work, working, year
When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

1 month ago

always, expectation, fault, humor, i, responsibility, sarcasm, self-reflection, someone, well
The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

1 month ago

Airbnb, asleep, comfort, comfortable, falling, humor, never, reviews, sleep, tell, toilet, toilets
I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

2 months ago

bird, early, early bird, exhausted, exhaustion, humor, night, night owl, owl, pigeon, sort, tired
How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

1 month ago

absurd, cat, cats, crazy, dare, eve, humor, pets, say, wedding

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Just landed via Instagram:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Just shared via Discord:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Double chins are better than double faces.

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏